Gerudo Naofumi
by Reapergenesis32
Summary: Naofumi's misadventures in a desert country. Crossdressing and later mature themes.
1. Chapter 1

Gerudo Naofumi

**A/N: Just a little plot bunny that popped into my head and I decided to write it because the next chapter of RE: Shield is being stubborn.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Rising of the Shield hero or BotW.**

* * *

"Are you serious? You don't have any more armor?"

"I'm so sorry, Sir Shield Hero. I'm afraid we're out. The other three Heroes and their companions just took the last sets." The shopkeeper apologized again, looking contrite.

Naofumi fought off a sigh as he rubbed his temples. _Great, just great._ He thought with no little annoyance, but not at the shopkeeper but at the situation. Right after the Wave in Cal Mira Queen Mirellia announced that there were other Dragon Hourglasses, hidden in the world. The Queen, in hopes of rebuilding the goodwill that Trash destroyed with his stunt of summoning all four heroes, decided to loan out the four Cardinal Heroes to the other countries. _Like we're high-class male escorts._ He thought snidely.

After the announcement was made, a desert country that went by the name of Sihari had discovered an Hourglass that had about a week and a half till its Wave began. Eager to prove that Melromarc would be more than happy to aid their fellow country, Queen Mirellia quickly sent Naofumi and the others to fight the Wave. However, there was a slight problem.

The king of Sihari asked, r.e. demanded, that the four heroes and companions to dress in Sihari style clothing. Both as a gesture of goodwill, after all, it would ease the hearts of Sihari citizens to see the Legendary Heroes wearing their traditional garb. Also, because the Sihari clothing is imbued with magic that kept the wearer cool during the day's heat and warm during the night's chill. Naturally the other three Heroes threw a tantrum as they'd been forced to abandon their preferred armor for another Royal that they didn't know right after the previous Wave. However, the Queen had put her foot down and allowed no argument, threatening their allotted funds; they were then sent to the country that was thankfully only a few days away via ship.

_But, like always, the others insist on making my life more difficult. _Naofumi mentally sighed. The other Heroes had gone to the only armor shop in the port town to buy every piece of Sihari armor they could get their hands on, leaving nothing left for Naofumi or his three companions. _I swear, this feels familiar. They did something similar on the boat to Cal Mira, now they decided to get all the armor. Damn it, if only Erhard knew how to craft Sihari armor._ He mentally complained before refocusing on the shopkeeper.

"Okay, forget the armor, do you have any Sihari clothing?" Naofumi pressed as his three companions were browsing the store. Filo was trying on every shiny piece of jewelry she could get her hands on while Rishia was trying to stop the blonde angel futilely. Raphtalia remained at his side while he tried to get something to appear before the king while looking at the beaded bracelets and colored trinkets on the counter.

Not that he wanted to impress the king, but after his first few months in Melromarc he decided it wouldn't be in his best interests to alienated a new monarch right off the bat, again. Especially if he ever decided he wanted to leave the Kingdom and live far, far away from Melromarc. He won't go out of his way to kiss up to the guy, but there's no sense in pointlessly antagonizing a new Royal. _Not until he proves he's as shitty of a king as Trash. _He promised himself.

The shopkeeper, a thin, mocha colored woman dressed in a colorful dress, bit her lip for a moment before nodding. "I do Sir Shield Hero, while they're imbued with magic, they don't have much, if any defense." She said, avoiding his gaze. "Also…I don't think they're quite the style you're looking for."

"Could I see them?" Naofumi asked. They'd wear it when they're in the capitol, Shaballa; after all they just need Sihari style _clothing_ when they arrived at the capitol, not armor. He reasoned that they could always change into some of their normal armor during the Wave. Or, barring that, he's sure there are other armories in the capitol. The woman nodded and beckoned him to the back where it was stored. When he looked at the mannequins and observed the defense ratings, a frown crossed his face.

"These three are the only ones with a decent defense rating." She said, noticing his frown, sympathetic.

_If that's decent, then I don't want to see the worst. _He thought resigned. _But I think with our levels we might be okay, just need to make sure to stick closer to the girls._ Both in dealing with monsters…and men. "Good enough, I'll take all three." He gazed at the colored silk and lace and looked at the woman with meager hope but had to at least ask. "Also, is there anything more…masculine in stock?"

The woman shook her head. "I'm afraid not. Not many men wear this design as its popular mainly with young women. The only masculine clothing I had was armor and, well…"

_Oh god damn it._ He cringed, already feeling his face heat up and not from the midday heat. _If they planned this, I swear to god…_He trailed off and debated whether or not his remaining dignity was worth crossing a desert with no protection and insulting a king. It was a close decision, but he sighed, defeated.

"Fine, throw in a set that has the next best rating after these and…in my size." He said with a flush, already regretting his decision.

* * *

"Ah…It's sooo hooot!" Motoyasu, the Spear Hero and the eldest of the Cardinal Heroes whined, fanning himself with a fallen palm leaf that he had picked up. His blonde hair was stuck to his face and his companions (harem) squeezed together for the meager shade a palm tree offered.

"Will you shut up, Motoyasu." Ren snarled at the elder. The Sword Hero was still irritable from the seasickness he suffered on the way over and the elder's complaining wasn't improving his already sour mood. "You're whining is just making it hotter!" He scolded, crossing his arms; trying and failing to ignore the heat. He knew by the time they got to Shaballa his fair skin would be sunburned. Both the Sword and Spear had taken armor that favored defense over the cooling magic, thinking it wouldn't be that hot and the magic would still do its job. While they wouldn't be in any danger of heat stroke from fighting in the heavy plating; they could still feel the hot, arid air and the sun beating down on them.

"God, what's taking Naofumi so long. We should've left already." Itsuki asked irritated, strumming his bowstring in agitation. While the other two had picked up the stronger armor, Itsuki decided to buy armor that offered more heat resistance compared to the others. Seeing as he didn't need to be up close and personal with his opponent thus, he should invest in heat resistance. He wasn't dying of heat, but rather of boredom.

The three heroes were gathered in an oasis just on the edge of town with five carriages parked in a semi-circle and pulled by a camel like creature. They looked like camels you would find on Earth; except they have more muscular legs, with pure red coats and some sort of gelatinous substance leaking from their humps. According to their drivers, it's the water that was stored in their humps being sweated out when they reached max capacity. He assured them it was perfectly normal and the congealed water was actually quite sweet and delicious. Tastes almost like honey or sugar water, the starstruck driver had told them. It's a favored drink/snack within Sihari, it also quenches even the most sever thirst. The jolly, rotund Guide had offered the three some of the sweat globs, but they declined. They rather not drink/eat sweat secreted from a not-camel when there's water nearby, no matter how sweet it supposedly is.

If the three had their way they would've already be off, but the guide told them that the king wanted all four heroes in one carriage so all of them can experience firsthand the wonders of the kingdom. He had provided a carriage for each hero's companions, but the king was adamant that the Heroes should be together, in the same carriage. So here they are, waiting in the desert heat for that useless Shielder.

"Damn it, he must be doing this on purpose." Motoyasu raged, forgetting his discomfort in favor of cursing Naofumi for his misfortune. "He must be doing this just to spite us!"

"I agree, Motoyasu-sama." Malty aka Bitch happily agreed with her Hero, always eager to defame the Shield Hero. "I bet the Shield Demon is in a nice, cool bar laughing at us while we waste our valuable time here in the heat." The red-haired demoness had also chosen more defensive armor and was sweating like a pig. Her usually immaculate hair was frazzled and knotted to her neck from sweat. Also, sand from a freak dust cloud that passed over her had left sand in places inside her armor where she didn't know how it even got into. That fact alone cemented Naofumi's nickname in Bitch's mind.

"He sure is taking his time." Itsuki sighed as his cohorts enthusiastically agreed with him as the Guide fretted over the three. "Should I send someone to look for the Shield Hero?" The Guide nervously asked, hoping to both please his guests and not insult the one who isn't present. "Perhaps he lost track of time?" He offered.

"Might as well. I want to be in Shaballa before nightfall, I want to unlock some new weapons and grind a bit before the day is over. " Ren said as he removed his scarf and wrapped it around his waist, reveling the flushed skin of his neck. He was beginning to regret buying the black armor as it made him feel even hotter, despite the magic interwoven in the fabric and plates.

The Guide turned to one of the drivers and, after a hushed conversation, began heading down the road when four figures approached the caravan. When the four were close enough to see clearly, all the men's eyes widened. Three of them were easily recognized as the Shield Hero's companions, however, said Shield Hero was nowhere to be seen. Instead, they were accompanied by an unknown forth person.

The real reason why their eyes were drawn to the group was for one reason alone, they all were wearing what seemed to be harem girl outfits. Each of them were sporting flushed, uncomfortable faces when they noticed the stares that they'd garnered.

Raphtalia was wearing a burnt orange silk top that covered her chest, her arms, and neck but left her midriff bare. She wore solid red pants with a dusty gold half skirt with black designs, complete with coppery bangles and jewelry on her hands, arms and neck. Filo was wearing a white tank top with poofy sleeves and a blue vest with gold trimmings over it, as well as a pair of blue shorts connected to a white shaft of silk around her waist. She seemed to have silver adornments in the form of necklaces and bracelets. Motoyasu couldn't take his eyes off her, much to everyone's dismay.

Rishia, Naofumi's newest member was beet red and was trying to hide her face from pure embarrassment, occasionally making strangled, 'fue' noises from behind her silk covered hands. The poor girl was wearing a white tube top with sleeves that didn't cover her shoulders and a light green vest with silver embroidery and fingerless white gloves. On her bottom half, she had on a green skirt with two layers of both solid and see-through fabric and belted with a chain of gold at the waist. She felt like she was going to die of shame, especially when she felt the eyes of both Itsuki and her former teammates stare at her unabashed.

However, the one who drew the most stares was the black-haired beauty at the forefront. She had on a top similar to Raphtalia's but in a deep forest green with detached sleeves of blue silk going from her elbow to her wrist. On one arm she seemed have on a rather bulky silver bangle with a green gemstone on the middle. She wore poofy purple pants with gold attachments and a green head veil, as well as a strip of green fabric covering the lower half of her face. Her hair was cut short, but it only accented her androgynous features. Her midriff wasn't 'soft,' but she instead had an abdomen of compact toned muscle that spoke that the girl was no stranger to training or moving quickly, while still having a few patches of softness. When they were just feet away from the gapping Heroes, the trope paused and the black-haired beauty stopped before the group of heroes and crossed her arms over her chest. Now that she was closer to them, they could see that she was taller compared to her blushing companions and she gazed at the three Heroes with both annoyance and anger.

Ren and Itsuki wondered why this girl looked at them with such annoyance, after all this was the first time they've ever saw her. If they were being honest, they would've remembered a beauty like this girl, especially if their meeting left her with such a grudge in her eyes. Motoyasu on the other hand, disengaged himself from Malty's grip (much to her ire) and headed over to the unknown girl with a charming smile plastered onto his face. Eager to get this fierce woman on his team.

The girl's eyes widened in shock when the blond Casanova grabbed her hands and leaned in close. "Well hello there, milady." He flashed her a smile that seemed to sparkle. "Please forgive the late introduction, I was momentarily stunned by your exotic beauty. I'm Motoyasu Kitamura, the gallant Spear Hero." He leaned even closer to look into her wide, startled green eyes. "Would you do me the honor of giving me your name? Or better yet, join my party? I promise you that I will make sure you won't ever have to lift a single finger; whether to attack or to defend yourself. You can trust me to protect you and make sure no harm ever befalls you. So please, join my party."

While Motoyasu was focused on seducing himself a new teammate, much to Malty's and the other girl's annoyance, Ren and Itsuki turned towards the horrified Raphtalia. "Erm, Raphtalia?" Ren asked after a moment of stunned silence, causing the flabbergasted tanuki's ears to prick towards him. "Why are you and the other's dressed...like that?" He asked embarrassed and looking away, gesturing at their clothes.

The girl snapped out of her trance and fought down a blush. She adjusted the scarf around her shoulders and looked the boy dead in the eyes, "When we got to the armor shop, they didn't have any Sihari armor left. This." She motioned to her costume. "Is the only clothing they had left."

"I…see…"

"Yeah…"

The silence lingered until Itsuki cut in. "Raphtalia? Do you know where Naofumi is? We're all waiting on him as the king of this country wants all of the heroes together when he greets us. We can't exactly leave until he shows up." He asked politely but with hints of annoyance lingering in his voice. He then glanced at the girl who was held captive in Motoyasu's hold. "And who is she? I've never seen her before. Is she a new party member?"

Raphtalia glanced at them in confusion and dawning realization. "Wait, you didn't realize?" She started, shocked.

"Realize what?" The asked at the same time.

"That's not a girl, he's-."

What she said was lost when a loud clang echoed throughout the area. All turned towards the center to see the Spear Hero on the ground rubbing his cheek with the unknown girl looming over him, her arm with the bangle still raised.

"What do you think you're doing!?" The Guide yelled, aghast that this chit dared to strike one of the four Cardinal Heroes. "Guards!" He shrilled his face turning red, prompting the guards that were stationed nearby to stand to attention and advance towards the crazed woman.

"What the hell was that for!?" Motoyasu yelled, his face still stinging and already turning red.

The girl glowered down at the blonde, not at all unnerved at the advancing guard. She placed her fists on her hips and leaned down. "Very funny Motoyasu." A surprisingly masculine voice sneered from the girl, a _very familiar_ masculine voice. Everyone's, except the similarly dressed girls, jaws dropped.

"No…way…" Ren whispered, stunned while Itsuki did a very convincing impression of a landed fish.

"You had your fun, forcing me to dressed like this. But this." A very irate Naofumi violently gestured around the area. "You just had to take it a step farther, didn't you? God, I almost threw up when you started hitting on me." He grumbled, moving the face cloth aside. "How the hell do you even manage to snag girls with such cheesy lines anyway?"

"Wah-wah, huh!?" Motoyasu stuttered out, his mind temporarily shutting down from sheer shock and horror before finally restarting, "NAOFUMI!?" He staggered to his feet, all thoughts of pain and heat vanishing as he pointed from Naofumi, to his costume, to Naofumi again; trying to make sense of what he was seeing. "What and why are you wearing THAT!?"

Naofumi dramatically flipped his hair and the bird with his right arm, which revealed that what they first thought to be a bangle was actually his default shield. "Well because _some people._" He glared at the stunned group, "Decided to buy up the entire stock of Sihari armor, they only had these dancing costumes left, so we had to make do with these." He gestured to his and his teammates clothes.

"But why are you dressed like a girl!?"

"When I said they only had these designs left, I meant that these were the _only_ designs left. So, I had no choice but to wear this." He said, crossing his arms, accidently pushing his nonexistent bust upwards. "This was the only one that could fit me."

"Err…Sir…Shield Hero?" The Guide haltingly asked, his face had gone from red to a fascinating shade of white, similar to day old oatmeal, when what he thought was an impudent woman was revealed to actually be the missing hero. Naofumi glanced at the man and motioned him to continue. "You do realize…that we could've bought clothes on the way to or in the capitol, right? You…really didn't need to dress like that."

"Yeah, but I would still be crossing the desert without any magical resistance clothes." He said with a shrug, causing the metal beads around his head and neck to jingle with the movement. "Besides, I rather not insult the king by making it look like I didn't try to 'heed his commands' or made him wait while we shopped around." He said making finger quotations.

"I find it hard to believe you would go thorough…this. Just to please a monarch." Itsuki said, his face filled with doubt. Likely thinking back at all of Naofumi's past experiences with Melromarc's disgraced king and princess. "Normally you go out of your way to be rude and ornery towards them."

"True. But I rather at least try to make this one at least tolerates me. No point in alienating a potential ally/customer right off the bat." Naofumi pointed out, his business side making a brief appearance. "I at least owe the Queen to at least try." He shrugged, seemingly indifferent from the stares to outright leers he was drawing from the crowd. Inside however, he was dying and wishing that a random lightning bolt or the Pope's light attack would fall from the sky and end his misery.

"Right…" Ren managed faintly, his cheeks red from second-hand embarrassment and rubbing his face, hoping the redness was from the sun and not something else.

After a few minutes of awkward staring, Naofumi turned to the Guide. "So, which one is our carriage?" He asked sternly. "I think we've wasted enough time; don't you think?" He asked with false sweetness.

The Guide snapped out of his trance and hurried nodded, eager to get this job over with and have a private night alone with the strongest liquor he could find. "R-right of course!" He said to the crossdressing hero and lead him to the fanciest carriage towards the front. "Right this way Madam I-err mean Sir." He held open the door for Naofumi to get in, "I'll lead your…companions to their personal carriage."

"Thanks." He said, passing the man some silvers as a tip, which he gladly accepted. He was about to enter when he turned to the others and yelled, "Are you coming or not?" He huffed, taking a seat. This led to a flurry of activity as everyone scrambled to find their respective carriage and to finally be on their way. Soon they only ones who haven't moved were the still stunned Heroes and the Shield Hero's group. Raphtalia sent them a sympathetic look before herding her teammates to the last carriage, leaving the three men alone to their thoughts.

"Wow…I would've never thought that Naofumi would be into that kind of thing." Itsuki said after a minute, while massaging his temples.

"Yeah…" Motoyasu said, his brain still reinstalling. It still had a number of updates to go through before restarting fully. "You know, he actually looks kinda hot." He said thoughtlessly, drawing shocked looks from his teammates. "When he doesn't open his mouth, he actually looks like my type of girl."

Naofumi poked his head out of the carriage, face mask still on. "Would you hurry up! I want to be there before the sunsets!"

Motoyasu hurried over, still conflicted from his hatred of Naofumi and how attractive the raven-haired male was in the costume. With Itsuki and Ren shuffling along, still somewhat dazed. When they finally entered the carriage, Naofumi gave them a dirty look before turning away to gaze outside the window. The sun's rays making his jewelry glow and sending reflective beams of light around the carriage. He looked extremely attractive to the three males.

"This is going to be a long ride, isn't it?" Ren sighed.

* * *

**A/N: …Yeah, I have no excuse other than this thought just popped into my head when I was replaying BotW. Hey, what if Naofumi wore the Gerudo outfit and this was born. Basically, the costume Naofumi is wearing is the Gerudo outfit, I hoped I described it and the others outfits well enough. Hope you enjoyed it. RE:Shield should be up next week.**


	2. Chapter 2

Gerudo Naofumi 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own ****Rising of the Shield hero or BotW.**

* * *

Sihari was a large desert country about a few days away from Melromarc via ship. The capitol was Shaballa, a huge city right dead center of the country surrounding a large oasis. Its main exports were: fabric, pottery/ various crafts, select desert fruits, jewelry and other minerals. The ruling body was a king, a group of governors, and a civilian council. The civilian counsel deals with public issues, i.e. they need more housing or funding. They all gather and petition the governors who adjusts, accepts, and/or deny the petition and presents it to the king. The King is the main power of the county and has absolute authority, he has the final say in anything and everything. No matter what it is, he can accept or deny any petition at any stage. Honestly, from how Melty described it, Shaballa sounds similar to Agrabah from _Aladdin_ in Naofumi's original world.

Looking out at the never changing landscape of the desert dunes, complete with an odd cactus or two, Naofumi admitted that he was bored out of his skull. He's been trapped in this carriage for almost three and a half hours and he felt he was going insane. One painful second at a time; between the uncomfortable, tense silence and the looks he drew almost minutely from the other passengers.

He had tried to pass the time by reading some of the scrolls he borrowed from Melty. Yet after about an hour, he had given up the venture. He couldn't concentrate from the feeling of their constant stares bore into his body or when they tried to read over his shoulder. Why they tried, he didn't know; he knew for a fact that they couldn't read the script, as they relied solely on their weapon's built in translator.

With nothing else to do, he settled on watching the scenery that was a little more interesting than watching paint dry and playing with his face mask. While the material was soft, it was such an odd feeling against his lips that he couldn't help but to play with the gold chain that held it in place. It gave him something to do and it helped him to ignore the looks he constantly drew from his fellow heroes.

Still, if he had to choose between either looking out at the unchanging scenery or try to engage in conversation with his fellow passengers, the answer was obvious. On a normal day, Naofumi would rather eat his shield than to have a conversation with his fellow heroes, Motoyasu in particular. But now, he rather not be in their presence at all. Between the mutual animosity they shared and their sheer pigheadedness of insisting that this world was still a game, despite all evidence to the contrary, he thought his opinion on them couldn't get any lower.

But now, after enduring all the stares raging from side glances to outright ogling, they proved him wrong once again. Three hours of watching the same desert paired with the three staring at him should be considered torture!

_Oh, come off it_, he scolded mentally, fighting off a blush when he felt Ren, once again for the fortieth time, attempt to discreetly gawk at his costume, his eyes lingering on his stomach and chest in particular_. You would think that they would've gotten used to the outfit after the first thirty minutes!_

Still, he had to admit that Ren and Itsuki's shy glances were tolerable compared to Motoyasu's looks. The blonde couldn't decide between glaring at him or making outright **bedroom eyes** that were practically undressing Naofumi the longer they stayed on him. The Shield Hero wasn't kidding when he said he'd nearly vomited when the Spear user invited him into the blonde's harem. His inhuman constitution was strong, but it couldn't spare him from the feeling of nausea creeping up his throat at the thought of the playboy propositioning him. Even it has its limits.

He didn't know why, but he theorized that the costume must've crossed the wiring or the signals being broadcasted between his two heads; now instead of wanting him dead, he thinks Naofumi is another potential notch in his belt. Naofumi privately swore that the moment he got other Sihari clothing, he is burning this outfit, no questions asked. After having to endure the blonde lusting after him, he decided he'd rather have Motoyasu trying take his head, than trying to get into his pants.

Not for the first time he wished he was with his team. At least he wouldn't deal with these kinds of looks when all of them were wearing the same outfit, hell it would've been a potential bonding experience. Like how people group together in public if they see they have on the same clothing, like cosplayers or delinquents. The four of them wouldn't ogle each other, that much he was sure; not when they had the camaraderie of looking absolutely ridiculous. While the girls may have been embarrassed, they wouldn't be mentally undressing him for a four-hour carriage ride and they could maybe laugh it off and rib each other about this later.

That being said, he knew that being alone together could lead to discussing a certain event that occurred back at the shop. Something he really doesn't want to think about, at all.

* * *

_Flashback, Port Town._

Naofumi looked at the mirror and saw his face turn red in real time. It hasn't even been a full minute and he's already regretting his plan. Looking at the colored silk that hugs his body in all the 'necessary' places and exposes his most vulnerable areas; he was about ready to say 'fuck it' and make the journey in his normal armor. The heat and the King's demands be damned. But a sharp knock beside him interrupted his thought, just as he was about to tear off his clothes.

"Naofumi-sama? Are you alright in there?" Raphtalia asked the curtain he was hiding behind.

"I'm…okay. Just having second thoughts about this." He admitted, playing with the face mask that was hanging off to one side by the chain.

"Naofumi-sama…this is your plan and we've already changed into our costumes." She said exasperated, crossing her arms. She didn't like it either, as it made her feel exposed and it draws unnecessary attention to herself, a dangerous combination both on and off the battlefield. However, she couldn't deny being excited at the prospect at her Master looking at her in this get up; and the thought of him in the same outfit. She didn't know why, but it…intrigued her at the thought of Naofumi crossdressing. Her mind briefly wondered if this might be a 'kink' that she once overheard Sadeena talking about back when she was younger, during one of the orca's heavier drinking sessions.

The tanuki quickly shook her head to disperse the thought and tried to get Naofumi out of the changing room. She was eager to get this train wreck over with and Naofumi wasn't helping matters by suddenly getting cold feet.

"The sooner you come out and meet up with the others, the sooner we can get to the capitol and get proper equipment." She scolded, trying to get the boy in drag out of the closet.

Behind her, Rishia was trying to merge into the wall out of sheer mortification and failing as Filo laughed at her antics, not paying any mind to her costume. On the contrary, she rather liked it, mostly because of the shiny stitching and the jewelry she got to wear. The angelic blonde was enthusiastically waving her arms and jumping around to cause her accessories to chime and shimmer around the room. "Do you want me to come in and help you?" She offered.

"No! No, I'm good!"

"Then come out already, we're late enough as it is." She gently scolded, looking pointedly at the clock even though she knew the man wouldn't see it, but he could _feel_ it. Naofumi fought off another sigh, clipped on the face mask and finally opened the curtain to reveal his own costume.

Raphtalia, Rishia, and the storekeeper's eyes widened while Filo paused her antics to stare at her master.

"Wow." Raphtalia breathed, looking her red-faced master up and down. If Raphtalia hadn't seen him enter the fitting room, she wouldn't have recognized him. The costume really complimented his physique, hugging his body in all the right places and showing just enough skin to draw the eyes. _Wow_. She repeated mentally. _He looks like a woman, an athletic one, but still a rather beautiful one. I think this might indeed be a kink._

"What? Do I really look that bad?" Naofumi asked self-consciously, misconstruing the astonished looks he got. He wished that it covered his body a little more and tried to pull the silk shirt down to cover his stomach. He knew with his defense that he'll be alright, but he still bulked at the idea of just presenting such an obvious target to any aggressors. He was used to people coming after him with the intent to kill; no need to give them such an obvious target on display, so sue him.

"No, actually you look rather attractive, Sir Shield Hero." The shopkeeper answered, slowly circling him; tugging and adjusting the costume in places, causing more skin to be revealed, much to his dismay. "I wouldn't be surprised if you have the young, hot-blooded men around here challenging each other to duels in order to win a date with you."

"Right…" Naofumi said doubtfully. "I'm taller and more muscular than an average woman, not to mention I have broader shoulders and I have absolutely no hips or bust." He pointed out, gesturing at said areas, "Besides, I look like an amazon in this."

The shopkeeper just smiled and reached up to pat his head. "In Sihari, most men find women that look strong rather attractive. The desert is a harsh place after all. You just so happen to look both strong with your muscles and beautiful with your pale, sharp features. You are, how do you say, an exotic beauty after all. Combine that with your physique, you make quite the head turner." The shopkeeper said in a matter of fact manner.

Naofumi mentally sighed. _Jeez, this world is just filled with kinks. If it's not loli's than its amazon chasers._ He thought ruefully before his eye catches on Filo. The little angel was still staring at him, tilting her head this way and back as though she was thinking of something; looking very much like the bird she was.

"Filo? What's wrong, don't recognize me?" He asked somewhat serious. He didn't think he looked weird to the point that the youngest of the group couldn't identify him. Once again, he cursed this stupid idea he had.

The girl blinked, then broke into a beautiful smile. In a flash she appeared in front of Naofumi and threw her arms around his waist. "Mommy!" Filo chirped, hugging the man tightly around the middle.

There was a moment of stunned silence, then a loud chorus of "M-MOMMY!?" echoed throughout the shop and could be heard by pedestrians walking by as well as across town.

Everyone stared at the girl, who hadn't stopped hugging the shell-shocked Hero, taken completely off guard by the girl's declaration. The girl just said a little, "Yep" and cuddled deeper into Naofumi's stomach.

"F-Filo, I'm a boy." Naofumi tried to explain, once he shook off his temporary paralysis. "Just because I'm wearing this doesn't mean I suddenly changed genders."

"Filo knows that." The angel explained with a smile. "Master has always been mommy; Master was the first one Filo saw when Filo's egg hatched after all. Master was a boy so Filo couldn't call him mommy. But now Master looks like a girl, so Filo calls Master, mommy." She said like she was discussing the weather.

_Well, I suppose that makes sense, in a way._ Naofumi allowed trying to gently disentangle from Filo's vice-like hug_, she's a bird after all and it makes sense that she imprinted on me…Wait, if she was calling me Master because she couldn't call me 'mommy', does that mean she's really been calling me daddy this entire time!? Do birds refer to their father's as master!? How did 'Master' and 'daddy' get mixed up?!_ _Wait by that logic, does that mean if Fitoria called either me or the previous Shield Hero master, does that mean she's actually calling us daddy!? _

Naofumi didn't really know how to react to that train of thought and looked away, catching sight of the clock. Noticing the time, he sucked on his teeth when he saw how much time they've wasted. Deciding to revisit this discussion at another time, like never; he pulled away from the angel and approached the counter.

"Okay…I think we wasted enough time, let's go to the others." He said, attempting to repress the recent events from his memory. "Let's get this over with and we'll never speak of this again." Naofumi payed the shopkeeper for the costumes and marched out, with the girls following out like a gaggle of ducklings.

* * *

"So…" Itsuki began, breaking Naofumi from his musing; the Bow Hero finally broke the awkward silence that prevailed the carriage. "What are your plans for when we reach the capitol?" He asked the three, ignoring the colorful elephant in the carriage. He couldn't take the silence any longer and was hoping to distract himself and the others from said elephant. He wasn't used to the silence as his companions had always filled the area with chatter. Whether by praising him or just talking amongst themselves. He'd take idle chatter over the suffocating silence any day.

"Like I said, grinding." Ren said bluntly, looking out his window.

"I'm interested in getting to know the local girls in the area. You know, get a feel of the local climate and stuff. They might have some quests or local knowledge to give out, if you catch my drift." Motoyasu said with a wink, his eyes straying towards Naofumi costume as if magnetized. The blonde was eager to see if the costumes the Shield Hero and his party wore were popular in the capitol. The raven-haired male fought off a shudder of disgust as he felt his constitution bulk once again, but the Spear Hero didn't seem to notice the Shield's shudder. That, or he didn't care.

Naofumi took a deep breath and stared fixedly at a point ahead "The moment I'm able, I'm taking my party to the closest armory, get them properly situated and then burning this costume." He said deadpanned, picking at the embroidery of his shirt.

"That seems like such a waste." Motoyasu said, cutting in. "It looks like it cost a pretty penny."

"Not really." Naofumi shrugged, "The shopkeeper gave me a nice discount as an apology for not having what we needed and because I bought multiple costumes. Considering you guys cleaned her out, she must've been feeling generous enough to practically give them to me; probably because she already made a killing off of you guys." Naofumi glared at them, reminding them that they're in this situation because, once again, they were too greedy.

Motoyasu tuned out his explanation and pressed on. "How about this? You give me yours and the other's costumes? Like I said it'll be such a waste of money if you just got rid of them. I'll even pay you, I'm sure my party would love to have them." He offered, already drooling at the thought of how My-Bitch would look in it. If Naofumi could pull it off, then imagine what actual girls would look in it. He had to admit that Raphtalia, Rishia, Naofumi looked beautiful in them and Filo looked particularly adorable in hers.

The other three heroes looked at him with disgust, knowing just by the look on his face where his mind went.

"Gross." The younger half of the quartet chorused while the second eldest gave him a look of pure contempt.

"What? I'll wash them first." He defended himself, digging the hole deeper.

"And give you material to jerk off with? Yeah, no. Over your dead body." Naofumi said with a scowl. He mentally added the girl's costumes to the pile of trash he needed to burn.

The elder blonde tried to look affronted, but with the combined power of the others glares, he dropped the subject; grumbling all the while. The previous silence had been restored with an added hint of distaste.

Suddenly, the little window in the carriage suddenly slid open before the silence could drag on any longer. The Guide peered in with a strained smile, possibly because he heard the hero's discussion. "Pardon me for interrupting, Honorable Heroes. But I'd like to inform you that we'll be reaching the gates within a half an hour."

_Oh, thank God_, was the collective thought both inside and outside the carriage. Naofumi was eager to finally escape this hell of both awkward stares and silence. The moment their audience with the king is done, he is hot footing it to the nearest armory, then to the closest kindling store.

"Also, can I offer you any refreshments? I have beer, juice, water, or some Yakki honey to drink." Ren and Itsuki both elected to have water while Motoyasu eagerly accepted the beer. Naofumi, however, frowned from behind his mask.

"Yakki honey? What's that?" He asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Oh, forgive me, I forgot you weren't there when I explained it to the others." The Guide apologized before slipping into his knowledgeable host persona. "Yakki are the creatures that are pulling the carriages at this moment. I'm told that they bear a striking resemblance to an otherworldly creature called a 'camel.' They're extremely fast and can cross the entire county within two days without needing any breaks. They store water in their humps, but when they store too much, they expel the excess from their humps. The water it ejects is extremely thick and sweet, having both the consistency and taste of honey. Hence the name. It's a popular treat here in Sihari; would you like to try it?" He asked, looking like an excited puppy.

The three who already knew about said drink, wrinkled their noses as one. It didn't matter if they were in a fantasy world or not, but they refuse to **ever** drink something that was secreted from a camel. It sounded absolutely disgusting.

Naofumi thought about then shrugged, "Sure, why not?" Drawing surprise looks from the other heroes. The Guide flashed him a happy smile before turning to fetch their respective drinks.

"Seriously!? You're going to eat that!?" Motoyasu asked, his face scrunched in disgust at the thought of eating such a disgusting 'treat.'

"It sounded interesting. I'm usually up to trying new things. Besides I doubt it would kill me or poison me, even without my immunities." Naofumi pointed out. "I don't see the harm in trying it. Also, didn't you just say you wanted to 'get a feel of local things?' I think trying their local cuisine is a good starting point." He said with a raised eyebrow.

"Here you are!" The Guide announced handing Ren, Itsuki, and Motoyasu each a flask with their respective drink. However, Naofumi was given a goblet filled with a clear, gelatinous substance that jiggled with the movement of the carriage.

Naofumi curiously looked at it, tilting the goblet this way and that and poking it to make it jiggle; oblivious for the first time of the stares of those also in the carriage. Most likely because this time they were focused on the goblet in his hands instead of his body.

He slowly stuck his finger in it and found that it was semisolid, it honestly looked and felt like jello. Throwing caution to the wind, he tore off a chunk and put it in his mouth.

"Holy crap!"

"He actually ate it!?"

_Huh, it's sweet, but not overpoweringly so. _He though absently licking his fingers, not paying attention to Motoyasu and Itsuki's outbursts.

"How is it?" Ren asked with morbid curiosity, watching the crossdresser's face.

"Honestly, it tastes like flavorless jello but sweeter." He said, taking another chunk and eating it. "It's actually pretty good. Want to try?" He asked, holding the goblet out.

"No…no thanks." His fellow raven refused as well as the others did when the crossdresser held it out to them.

"Eh, more for me." He said simply, bringing the goblet back towards him.

Suddenly the carriage violently jolted, sending the heroes briefly upwards and causing Naofumi to upturn his goblet.

"What was that!?"

"Are we being attacked!?"

The window slides back open, "I'm so sorry, Honorable Heroes. There was a large piece of debris hidden underneath the sand. Everything is alright, so sorry to alarm you."

"Thanks." They chorused as the Guide gave them their privacy.

"Aw, dammit." Naofumi groaned, prompting the others to turn towards him, wondering what's wrong. All of their eyes widened and their mouths went dry as they felt redness race across their cheeks.

When Naofumi spilt his goblet, the force of the carriage jerking flung the Yakki honey all over him. The clear substance had splattered all over his chest and face as well as into his hair, coating his hair with the semi-solid liquid. He ran his fingers through his hair and let out a put-upon sigh as the honey came off his hair in clear strands. Already he could feel the substance melting due to his body heat and knew it would be a pain in the ass to get out of his hair if he doesn't get it out quickly; he didn't care about his top, as it was going into the fire pit anyways.

What he didn't know was how he looked to the other men in the carriage.

They, being young, hot-blooded, healthy young men were quite well acquainted with sex, how it works and what it generally looks like. Now, baring Motoyasu, they haven't actually done the deed; but they all have attended a mandatory adult health class in high school after all. And thanks to the power of the almighty internet, they did have access to porn; so, they have a frame of reference about certain scenes they could find just by browsing the internet.

What Naofumi didn't realize, was that to the others, the Yakki honey now bore a striking resemblance to semen and with it covering his face, hair, and body; he now resembled a h-scene straight out of an eroge. All three of them swallowed harshly when they noticed him trying to pick the gelatin out of his hair, causing it to leave clear trails clinging to both his fingers and hair.

"Damn it, it's everywhere." Naofumi sighed in annoyance as they attempted to tear their eyes away, but couldn't. "Jeez, what a waste." He sighed again, looking at his fingers. Then, almost like a kid with a melting ice-cream cone, he decided to lick it off his fingers.

_**Crack! Creek! Crack!**_

Naofumi sharply jerked his head up at the sudden noise, his eyes widening in surprise by the sounds of multiple cans being crushed echo throughout the carriage. The three attack orientated heroes had crushed their respective flasks in their hands and were all avoiding his gaze; each face a blazing scarlet. _Why are their faces red?_ He blinked at them. _And…why are they crossing their legs together?_

"What's wrong with you guys?" He asked, confused.

"N-nothing, at all." They whimpered, sounding oddly high-pitched and covering their mouth and noses.

His eyes narrowed in suspicion before turning away, deciding he didn't particularly care what their collective problem was and attempted to lick off the honey once more when something blue was thrust in front of his face.

Naofumi went cross-eyed to get a clearer look at the fabric. It was Ren's scarf, which he had untied from his waist and held it out to Naofumi.

"H-here, use this." He stuttered loudly, his face beet red and keeping his eyes averted.

"Are you sure? I'm pretty sure it'll stain-." He tried to warn but was swiftly cut off.

"YES!" The youngest almost shouted, shoving it closer.

Naofumi took the makeshift cloth and attempted to clean himself up, he grumbled as he only spread the honey everywhere and making the cloth stick together. _This is going to be a pain to get out._

"Use this…" Itsuki said breathlessly, as he handed over his flask of water (it was the only one still mostly intact). Naofumi cocked his head, but took it and attempted to at least look decent for when they arrive to the royal audience. Motoyasu just sat there, staring ahead looking for all the world like he had gazed into the void and the void winked at him. All the womanizer could do was concentrate at the air above Naofumi's head and pray that the carriage would reach Shaballa soon.

Anytime now…

Please?

* * *

By the time they arrived to Shaballa, Naofumi was decent and no longer looking like he was an orgy participant. When the carriages stopped just outside the gates leading into the city, the other three heroes had all but jumped out of the carriage. Eager to reunite with their companions and to finally get a leash on their overactive hormones.

Naofumi leisurely walked out of carriage after them just as his teammates made their way over to him.

"Mommy!" Filo cheered and hugged him, ignoring the looks they've garnered from around the gathering

Naofumi let out an _oof_ of air at the forceful hug, but still patted her head. "Filo, I told you not to call me that." He lightly scolded her, his mood improving from finally being able to finally escape the carriage of doom and to stretch his legs.

"Sorry~" She chirped, looking not at all sorry. Rishia was stumbling out of their carriage and was leaning heavily against a wall; crouching with her head between her legs, breathing deeply to fight off her nausea. Raphtalia approached and gave him a wane smile.

"How was your ride?" He asked the tired looking tanuki as the green haired girl made a gurgling noise of dismay at the reminder of her journey.

"Well, Filo tried to convince the driver to let her pull the carriage. The driver, thinking that she was joking, told her to go ahead. I had to stop her from transforming on the spot since she couldn't transform without destroying her clothes and that she could cause an accident by transforming inside. Then she attempted to remove her clothes." She reported, rubbing her temples at the memory. "I just barely managed to stop her and tell her it was the Yakki's turn to pull the carriage. She alternated between pouting or glaring at the Yakki the entire journey. And Rishia had motion sickness after about an hour. Never thought I'd be grateful to Filo's driving, it made me quite resistant to other's driving. But other than that, it was alright. How was yours?" She finished, sounding drained. She just wanted to find a warm bed to curl up in and to rest.

"Torture." He said simply. "They wouldn't stop staring at me the entire journey. I was half tempted to jump out the carriage and walk there myself." Raphtalia nodded then her eyes caught on something in his hair.

"What's that? You have something in your hair." She said, reaching up to pull the clear substance out of his hair and stared mutely in shock at the clear cord of honey going from his hair to her fingers.

"Naofumi…" She said suddenly stone-faced, drawing a concerned look from said person. "Did the other three heroes do anything…untoward to you during the ride?" Her eyes narrowing even farther when she catches stains on both his mask and top that were **definitely not** there before. Her eyes slowly turned to the three red faced heroes and she tighten her grip on her blade to the point her knuckles went white.

"No?" He said blinking innocently, wondering what got Raphtalia suddenly so upset. "Why do you ask?"

"You don't need to hide it, Naofumi-sama. I'm on your side." She said, her eyes never leaving the heroes; who had started to sense a looming threat of death and looked around, searching for the source of killing intent. "You can tell me; I won't let anyone threaten you or your honor. I just need the names and, or the deeds."

"Muu~" Filo suddenly chimed in, her eyes glaring at the clear stain on his top. "Mommy smells like those stinky Yakki." She pouted.

"Yeah, wasn't my idea. We hit some debris on the way here and I spilt some Yakki honey on myself. It was a real pain, it even got into my hair. I tried to get it off, but I guess I missed some." He said, tugging at the offending lock.

Like that, the threat of death disappeared, leaving the heroes blinking in surprise at the vanishing act. "O-oh! So that's what happened." Raphtalia exclaimed, somewhat embarrassed. "I thought it was something else."

"What was like something else?" He asked with a confused side glance.

"Nothing! Nothing at all!" She squeaked, hoping he'll drop it and got her wish.

Naofumi turned away and started heading for the gates. "Anyways we might as well get going. The sooner we meet with the King, the sooner we can get out of theses costumes." He said, walking towards the gates.

* * *

Shaballa was exactly how he imagined. It reminded him of the desert cities he saw in media back in his original world. Walking in, he was immediately swallowed up by colorfully dressed crowds all going about their days. The buildings were mainly comprised of bleached white stone and wood; they were all decorated with colorful cloth acting as both curtains and shade.

Within its outer ring, the city was filled with bazaar's, complete with merchants hawking their wares and the air was filled with people trying to haggle a better price. From carpets to spices to jewelry, they all cheerfully hollered at the troupe trying to catch their attention. Some rather rare ore caught his eye and he made a mental note to return after the audience.

As they traveled deeper into the inner rings, the crowds became less crowded and more subdued as they went about their duties. The buildings became bigger and more luxurious as Naofumi theorized that these building catered mainly to the nobles and the wealthy. As they passed by mansions, finally, they saw the palace.

It was huge, built completely of pure white marble and trimmed with gold. It had six pillars branching off of the main dome building and topped with golden domes atop the spires. He could see that the designs decorating the walls were hand carved and depicting battles and other events throughout its history. The only thing breaking the white and gold color scheme was the flowering ivy plants that covered the walls, looking well-tended, making it known that it wasn't a mistake or some gardener go lazy trimming it.

It honestly remined him of the Taj Mahal, only somewhat smaller, but wider and with more wings added to it. He could honestly say it was impressive. It was fit for a king.

The inside was even more luxurious. The floors were made of pure white stone and covered in bright red carpets, each with intricate designs that made Naofumi's head pound just by looking at it. The ceiling wasn't to be sneezed at either as it was covered in painting that ranged from constellations, legendary tales, to people in general.

They were led though the palace, passing by expensive looking art pieces and finely made tapestries. When they were about in the middle of the palace, they were taken to the audience chamber.

The chamber was somewhat plainer compared to the other rooms they had passed by. It was a stone room with a raised platform that housed two thrones. It was bare, almost economical with its decoration; the only decoration were tapestries embroidered with Sihari's symbol that Naofumi believed blocked the entrances behind the thrones and large red curtains on either side of the room.

_This room says that this is where they 'get down to business.'_ Naofumi thought. _It doesn't look the king is focused in showing off his wealth here. I think he lets the rest of the place speak for itself. This is where he may discuss important matters within his court, free of any distractions. I think my estimation of this King is raising._

"What do you mean he's not here!?"

_And just like that, it went back down._ The large group had gathered in the room, eager to meet with the king only to be informed that he was away at the moment. The chancellor, a kind looking, jolly old man bowed before them in apology.

"I'm so sorry, Honorable Heroes. But the King was needed to weigh in on an issue between the civilian counsel and the governors. He pleads for both your patience and understanding."

"I don't know, it's such a mark of a bad host to order us to show up and be here to greet us himself." Itsuki pointed out with a smug look.

"First, he makes us abandon our regular armor in favor of his country's, the he doesn't even have the decency to face us when we get here? I don't know about you, but I feel insulted." Ren said in disapproval.

"Not only that, but what's worse is that he made us ride in a carriage for four hours alone with Naofumi!" Motoyasu shouted, pointing at Naofumi.

"Oi, oi, speak for yourself, I didn't particularly enjoy that aspect myself. What with you guys practically mooning at me the entire way here." Naofumi argued, glaring before turning to the harassed old man. "What was it that the council's needed the king for?" He asked.

"Ah, yes. The council and the governors got into a heated argument over the capitol's procedures during the upcoming Wave. The counsel wanted to evacuate the city to a more secure location such as the palace or nearby cliffs; while the governors argued that they should fortify the city and stand their ground. It got quite intense in there, to the point that I feared they'd come to blows. The King needed to step in to arbitrate the discussion. He should be finished in a few hours," He held out his arms as though to show off the entire palace. "You're more than welcome to explore the palace while you wait."

The heroes, still annoyed, was slightly mollified by the king's absence. The heroes soon dispersed and the old man turned towards Naofumi with a smile.  
"Thank you for your understanding, Miss." He said, not realizing Naofumi was a man. "I understand that this is a huge inconvenience, to both you and your teammates."

Naofumi waved his concerns away. "I'm sure His Majesty would welcome us if he was able. I think running an entire country is a good enough excuse not to drop everything just to greet us."

"Still, I must thank you for your understanding. Would you like me to give you a tour around the palace, Miss?"

"That won't be necessary. I really don't have anything in mind and would prefer to wander on my own. Besides, I think you have other matters to attend to as well."

"Very well, please explore to your heart's content. Just be sure to be back before sunset. His Majesty should return by then." The man said, looking at Naofumi's face before saying, "You know, I think you should visit the garden. It's our crown jewel here in the palace, the late Queen herself had lovingly tended to most of the plants there. She loved that garden, you actually remind me of her, I daresay." The man told him with a sad smile. Naofumi just hummed noncommittedly as he left.

When they left the chamber, he decided to split from his party so they could cover some more ground and hopefully get directions to their chambers and to a good armory shop.

_What is wrong with these people?_ Naofumi wondered as the fifth maid he passed by flinched at the sight of him and gawked. _I guess this costume could be considered inappropriate and shouldn't be worn in the presence of wealth outside of events, but come on. I think their reactions are a little over the top. Unless they know I'm a boy and they don't take too kindly to cross dresser's here._ He mused when he caught sight of what he thought was a butler cross himself when he saw the Shield Hero, looking like he seen a ghost.

"Oh, god. Please don't tell me they have a religion against the Shield Hero here as well." He groused with a scowl. "Once was enough and if that's the case, then I'm taking my team and leaving. Forget about trying to make this monarch like me, I'm not fighting for or against anymore zealots, thank you very much."

After many turns and back tracking, much to the dismay of the odd maids, Naofumi finally found himself in the gardens. It was rather beautiful; it was a large courtyard filled to the brim with plant life. From bushes of multicolored flowers, to large palm trees that were as high as the palace itself, and everything in between. Everything was neatly trimmed and from his experience with plants, everything was well cared for. He could see that this was also the origin of the ivy covering the palace itself, he had noticed a huge arch of it near the wall, with said plant creeping up every cranny and beyond sight.

However, a high-pitched scream broke the tranquility of the garden and pulled him from his admiration.

_A scream? It sounded like a child's!_ He looked around alarmed, when he heard the scream again, this time from above. There atop one of the gigantic palms, was a little figure clinging to the bough. The child looked to be about five, but Naofumi couldn't be sure from this distance. The child was flailing their legs, desperate to find a foothold as he inched closer and closer to the ground. At that moment, the tiny hands lost their grip and soon the child started to plummet to the ground.

"AIIEEE!"

"**AIR STRIKE SHIELD!"** Naofumi called, already running towards the kid, a clear green shield appeared underneath the falling child.

The child's descend was halted momentarily when he landed on the mirage, but the kid quickly slid off as if it was a slide and returned to his plunge. Luckily, by that time, Naofumi was already underneath the child and caught him with a surprised 'oomph.' The kid was surprisingly heavy, Naofumi felt like he just caught a falling boulder, but remained standing nonetheless.

The kid blinked up at the hero in shock, surprised that he wasn't a smear on the ground; his tan face pale and his green eyes wide.

"You okay there, kid?" Naofumi asked in concern as he look him over for any injuries. He seemed fine, just trembling from the lingering adrenaline, courtesy of a near death experience.

Satisfied that the child was unhurt, he looked around for any other adults, thinking that either of his parents or at least a nanny should be around somewhere. However, he couldn't find a soul outside of himself.

_Who is this kid and where are his parents?_ He thought, looking back down at him. The kid had the same coloring as the next Siharian; with tan skin, thick, curly black hair and green eyes. He wore a white robe over a black shirt and gold pants, around his head was what once was a turban, but it had come apart from his brush with gravity. Coupled with a face retaining its baby fat, he looked like a cute kid.

The kid was still looking up at him, unblinking, not saying a word, "Kid?" He asked again, growing increasingly worried that the kid went into shock. He hoped that he won't be accused of attacking the kid, but knowing his luck, it just might happen.

_Once again, where are his parents or his minders?_ Judging by how fine the material and cut of the clothes the kid is wearing, he's probably the child of a noble or at least a high-ranking servant. _What other child would be doing running around the palace if he wasn't at least somewhat related to someone high up the food chain?_

Finally, the child snapped out of his shock to give Naofumi a huge grin, complete with missing baby teeth. _Oh good, he's okay._ The male sighed in relief before the kid threw his tiny arms around the raven's neck with a high-pitched laugh.

"Mama! You're back!" The kid cheered as Naofumi stiffened in shock, _Oh god damn it, not again! First Filo, now some random kid is mistaking me for their mother!?_

Naofumi, while balancing the boy in one arm, gently but firmly pried the arms off his neck. "No kid, I'm not your mom." He said gruffly.

The kid cocked his head to the side. "But you look like mama. And like the big picture papa has of mama." He said with all the innocence of a child.

"Yeah, but I'm not your mom." Naofumi repeated, setting the kid down and glancing up at the tree that once held the kid. "By the way, how did you even get up there?"

The kid gave him a proud smile and said, "I climbed it, all by myself." He said with a wide grin as he puffed up his chest.

"That was extremely dangerous, what if I wasn't there? You would've gotten seriously hurt or worse!" He scolded the child. "Where are your minders anyway?" He asked, already knowing the answer.

The kid frowned and looked down. "I, I snuck away. My nana needs to help the maids with cleaning rooms for the heroes. I was left with some guards and I got bored and snuck off." He admitted, chastised.

_Of course, _Naofumi thought as he pinched the space in between his eyes and said, "Look, where are your parents or your babysitters? I'm sure they must be worried sick by now."

"Umm." The kid poked his cheek in thought. "Papa is in a boring meeting with some smelly old people. And mama is somewhere faraway."

"I see…" Naofumi hummed, trying to decide what to do. He couldn't leave the kid alone, who knows what sort of trouble he could get into. Heck, he already almost got himself killed. But on the other hand, he really didn't want to babysit the kid. Of course, when he finally reunited the brat with his dad, he could always ferret out a reward for his services.

"What's your name kid?"

The kid beamed up at him and said, "I'm Redji ala Amaide! What's your name, lady?"

"Naofumi Iwatani. Come on, let's go find your nana or whoever is responsible for you."

"Aw, but I want to play some more." Redji whined, tugging on Naofumi's pants while pleading with a puppy dog stare.

The raven shook his head, took the boy's hand and led him out of the gardens. The boy pouted up at him, but followed the crossdresser without complaint. While Naofumi looked for someone to dump Redji off on, the little boy was chatting his ears off. Just telling Naofumi random facts or little observations that crossed his mind. Naofumi hummed in the appropriate places, to let the kid know he's listening, not minding the chatter; it was a good source of information after all.

Looking at the kid, he could tell that Redji was lonely. He wasn't neglected or anything, but Naofumi could tell he didn't really have much contact with anyone close to his age. He was probably surrounded by adults 24/7 and while the kid was tended to, he possibly didn't have any friendships his own age. _He sort of reminds me of my kid brother growing up_. Naofumi thought as Redji started to tell him about a secret love affair going on between a guard and a maid_. I wonder if he'll get along with Filo?_

"So," Naofumi started, interrupting Redji who was giving him the play by play of the guard and maid trying to secretly meet up, but somehow being foiled each time. "Where is your mom exactly?" He asked in curiosity, thinking that the woman was away traveling or something

"Papa said she went to heaven." The boy said sadly as the raven's eyes widen in surprise. "Mama was very tired and she couldn't play with me anymore. One day, she went there to get better, but papa was very sad when he told me that. I didn't get to see her leave. I asked papa when I get to see her again, but it just makes him sad so I don't ask anymore."

"I'm sorry" Naofumi apologized, feeling like a tool and cursing that he reopened some still tender wounds.

"It's okay." Redji said with a smile, his sadness forgotten as he smiled up at Naofumi. "I still have papa, my nana, and the maids. So, I'm not lonely!" He reached over to wrap a tiny fist in Naofumi's pants. "Though if you want, could you be my mama? You look like her, I bet papa will like you, mostly if I ask him to."

"I don't think that'll happen." The raven deadpanned, his eye twitching in irritation.

"Why not?" Redji whined.

"Because I'm a boy."

Redji paused in mid-step to glance him over. "No, you're not." He said crossing his arms.

"Yes, I am." Naofumi argued, starting to get irritated_. Christ, it's just a costume. Just because I'm wearing it, doesn't make me a girl!_ He thought angrily, while mental howling as his masculinity died a painful death.

Redji gave him a skeptic look as his eyes bored into the older male's. "You're not dressed like a boy. I only see girls wear what you're wearing, so you must be a girl." He said with the stubborn logic of a small child.

Naofumi sighed and decided to drop it. He knew from past experiences that arguing with children, both young and old, gets you nowhere. "Sure, whatever kid." Naofumi sighed as Redji cheered in victory and decided to give Naofumi a tour.

* * *

He thought that the palace's staff reactions to him was strange before, but now their behavior was downright _bizarre_. As they or rather he, as Redji had complained that he was getting tired so Naofumi carried him, walked down the hallways, the staff stopped dead in their tracks to stare at them. One maid actually fainted at the sight of them and a servant boy tripped over and faceplanted while gawking at them.

"Hey Redji, are the staff always like this?" Naofumi asked the young noble as a maid made a religious gesture while they pasted her by.

The boy frowned in confusion and shook his head, also curious at the strange behavior. He did laugh when a guard ran headlong in a pillar in mid-double take. Even Naofumi couldn't resist a smile at that comedic moment.

"Naofumi-sama!" Raphtalia cried as she and Filo and Rishia came running up. However, she stopped dead in her tracks, causing Filo and Rishia to run into her, at the sight of her master carrying a child.

"What?"

"Where did you get that child?" She asked suspiciously.

"What's that look for? I didn't kidnap him." He said defensively, shifting the kid to another arm. "I found him in the garden's alone, he nearly got himself killed-."

"Did not." Redji piped up.

"You did. I figured it would be negligent of me to leave him there and the kid seemed fine with me." Naofumi said with a shrug before leaning in to whisper, "Besides, this kid looks to be a noble's brat. I think I can get a little 'thank you' gift out of him for watching his kid and saving his life, don't you think?" He said with a shark's smile, hidden beneath his veil.

"Naofumi-sama…" Raphtalia said warningly, mentally sighing at her Master's money-grubbing ways."

"Don't give me that look." He huffed. "You should be used to this by now." He then thought of something. "By the way, why were you looking for me anyway."

Raphtalia blinked for a moment, then remembered, "Oh yeah! The king's meeting is finishing up, the advisor is gathering everybody back to the audience chamber.

"Heh, it's about time, he kept us waiting, that's for sure, I guess that's what King's do." Naofumi glanced around for a maid to give Redji over to, but all the previous maids were suspiciously absent. Sighing, Naofumi glanced down at the boy who met his gaze with a stubborn glare as he gripped his top as if to say 'I dare you to try.' He looked towards his comrade and asked grudgingly, "Do you think we should take the kid with us? Considering that the kid's a noble, it makes sense that his father would be near the king. Heck, the king could even know who the dad is."

Raphtalia nodded, but Filo was glaring at him, or rather at the black-haired child in his arms. The angel was pouting up at him with her arms crossed, he eyes locked on the child in his arms, jealously.

"What's wrong Filo?"

Suddenly, the girl grabs Redji by the arm and attempts to tug the boy out of his arms. Luckily, she didn't use her full strength, seeing as she was fighting with a child; but it was still enough to send Naofumi staggering. "Wha- Filo!? What are you doing!?"

The blonde girl pouted and said, "I don't like it." Her eyes determined. "I don't like some turban-head cuddling with mommy!" She continued trying to pull the child out of his arms, it kinda reminded Naofumi of a puppy trying to tug a toy out of a child's hand; though the roles are rather reversed. Redji just glared and wrapped his arms around Naofumi's neck and stuck out his tongue at the Filolial, which only incensed her further. They were completely occupied with the tug of war over Naofumi, that it seemed like there was lighting sparking between them as they growled at each other.

Naofumi groaned at the children's antics and rubbed at his temple, feeling a headache coming along; wishing he could just crash into a bed and be done with today.

* * *

They arrived to the chamber last, not surprising. The other Cardinal Heroes and their teams were already loitering in the audience chamber either in clusters or alone.

The group seemed to have finally gotten over their shock towards Naofumi's costume, as they seemed well enough to glare angrily at the group when they finally arrived. However, they, like everyone else, were thrown for a loop at the sight of a kid on Naofumi's hip. Redji was starting to get drowsy and had snuggled into the crook of Naofumi's neck to start dozing; much to Filo's annoyance. She wanted to be held by mommy too!

"Naofumi? Where did you get that child?" Motoyasu asked suspicious, his settings finally returned to his default demeanor of distrusting the Shielder; though his eyes still lingered on the other man's hips and chest.

"Found him in the gardens, then he got clingy. I couldn't find an adult to dump him on, so I let him come with me." Naofumi said shortly as he balanced the kid on his hip.

"Really?" Motoyasu question, not convinced.

Malty decided it was time to interject into the conversation, she was still sour that Motoyasu and the other heroes' eyes had been glued to the Shield Hero ever since he showed up in that get up in the oasis. "It's obvious that he kidnapped the child. He must be brainwashing the poor child in order to-."

_Yeah, no._ He quickly cut her off, too tired for her bullshit, "Shut up bit-." He quickly glanced over at the sleepy Redji and quickly revised, "Biddy."

"B-biddy?!" She stuttered, both thrown and even more insulted. "How dare-!"

"Be quiet, Biddy." Redji said sleepily, before trying to return to the comfortable spot he had found before the ugly girl's voice disturbed him. This prompted a startled chuckle out of Naofumi. He was extremely glad for the save, else he'd be dealing with an indignant noble soon enough_. Best wait until at least tomorrow before he started pissing people off._

"You really get yourself into strange situations, Naofumi." Ren observed from the sidelines as Itsuki wandered over to the group. Specifically, towards the one with a toddler. "Hey there little guy." Itsuki said with a smile as he crouched over to be at eye level with Redji. The boy grumbled and glared at the younger blonde, annoyed that they kept interrupting his naptime.

"What do you want?" He sniped in annoyance.

Itsuki's brow twitched at the tone the toddler took, but kept the smile fixed on his face. "I just wanted to check to see if you're okay and not in any danger." He said cajolingly, "Is this man bothering or threatening you?"

He was met by twin glares, curtesy of both Naofumi and Redji. "Noooo." Redji said, drawing out the vowel like he thought the Bow Hero was slow in the head. "The only one bothering me is you, chicken butt!"

"Chi-chicken butt!?" Itsuki stuttered.

"Yeah! Your head looks like a chicken's butt! It's all floppy and curly like a chicken that's been sitting down all the time!"

_T-this little brat-!_ Itsuki snarled mentally as Redji stuck his tongue out at the hero. Naofumi on the other hand had to stifle his chuckles at the look on Itsuki's face. _I guess he isn't so bad…_Naofumi thought before Redji continued his little rant against the Bow wielder.

"So, leave me and mama alone, chicken butt!" There was a moment of stunned silence as Naofumi facepalmed. _Or maybe not…cue freak out in 3…2…1…_

"WHAT DID HE JUST CALL YOU!?" Everyone not already acquainted with the precocious toddler yelled.

"Apparently, I look like his mom. He refuses to believe me when I say I'm a guy, thanks to the costume, and I decided it would've been a waste of time trying to convince him otherwise." He said with a shrug, adjusting the child upward.

"…You know…I actually see the resemblance…" Motoyasu admitted, drawing the curious gazes of those around him. "The kid has the same coloring as Naofumi, sans the complexion, and their facial features do look similar. Though the kid's features are softer, either inherited from the mother or from baby fat. If I didn't know better, they'd definitely look like a mother and child." The blonde scratched his head. "Especially when they both glare…"

"Huh…that's surprisingly observant of you, Motoyasu." Ren admitted. "Now that you've pointed that out, I can see it as well."

"What can I say, I'm an expert when it comes to fashion and female bone structure." The blonde crowed, making people wonder how those two concepts are related.

"He does seem attached to you Lord Naofumi." Rishia suddenly piped up, looking at the now dozing Redji and her master. "You seem to have a way with children, you're actually handling him very well. Do you have prior experience with children, by any chance?"

"Yeah." Naofumi said, pointing at both Raphtalia and Filo. "I raised these two." Raphtalia pouted and crossed her arms with a huff at the reminder, while Filo waved back happily. "I also have a kid brother. I practically raised him as well, since our parents were either occupied with work or focused on shoving books down his throat." Then rubbed his chin in thought. "Now that I think about it, I remember some of the neighborhood moms used to dump their kids on me while they shopped during high school. I didn't mind back then, as they either gave me something to eat or some cash as payment, and the kids weren't _too_ horrible."

"I can't really see that…" Itsuki muttered, still giving Redji the evil eye. He couldn't help but pity both the children and the mothers who dumped their kids on the ornery Shield Hero. _Just look at the kid, he's probably been with the man for less than two hours and he's already spitting insults at us, not to mention he's already learning Naofumi's signature glare._

"Honorable Heroes!" A loud voice announced, cutting off further conversation. "It is my great honor to present to you the King of this fine land of Sihari!" Everyone's eye was drawn to the man in minister clothing, who was on the platform that had held the thrones. Except at this time, the thrones were hidden away by the curtains they'd seen earlier.

Naofumi could help but roll his eyes at the dramatic revel curtains. He hoped that the audience wouldn't be too long or that the king would waste time with all the Royal BS. The toddler in his arms was starting to get heavy and his arms were getting tired. He couldn't help but note that the kid didn't even twitch at the sound of the announcer's voice. _Heh, poor kid must be really tired._

"I present his Royal Majesty, The King of Sihari, the Slayer of the Molduga, and Victor of the Battle of Madras! His Majesty, King Vijya ala Amaide."

"Wait, did he just say ala Amaide!?" Naofumi said, his eyes widening in surprise, before the curtains opened to revel the King sitting on his throne.

King Vijya was a tall man, perhaps in is late thirties to early forties; with a dark, coffee colored complexion and dark hazel eyes. The king was muscular, as he filled out his outfit that consisted of a white shirt and pants underneath a coat of indigo and gold and held together by a black sash. On his waist was a wicked looking scimitar that was both well-made and worn, yet extremely well taken care of; hinting that it wasn't for show and he knew how to use it.

The throne next to him was starkly empty, yet the man seemed to fill the room with his presence alone. Vijya stared at the gathered group with a stern face, his lower half covered by a nicely trimmed goatee.

"Greetings Sir Heroes." He began, his voice rumbling, his eyes scanning the group with a nearly invisible smile ticking his mouth. "I am deeply humbled that you have trekked across both the ocean and the desert to the aid of my country in its time of need. I swear that during your stay in Sihari, however short it may be. I will see to it that all your needs will be met and you'll be handsomely rewarded for this undertaking, once the Wave has ended. Please, I implore you each to step forward so that I may see who it is that are risking themselves for my country."

Motoyasu, Itsuki, and Ren each stepped forward eagerly. Their faces lighting up at the promise of rewards. Naofumi however, slowly made his way over, suddenly mindful that he has this country's prince in his arms_. Okay Naofumi keep calm and pray he isn't going to be a raging asshole like Trash, and that he won't execute you on the spot for holding his son without permission. And whatever you do: __**Do Not Drop the Baby**__._

Following Mirellia's advice, they each bowed at the waist as a show of respect towards the foreign king. Naofumi's was a bit stiffer as he had a child on his hip.

Looking up at the platform, he saw Vijya blink when his eyes caught on Naofumi. No doubt because he was the odd on out considering the other three were wearing armor. His eyes then went from Naofumi's outfit to his supposed son and he half rose from his seat in surprise.

"Redji? What are you-?" He murmured before he finally laid eyes on Naofumi's face. His jaw actually dropped in shock and his eyes nearly bulged out of his skull as he paled underneath his tan.

It would've been funny if Naofumi wasn't so consciously aware of how precarious his position was in this scenario. He glanced over to his companions to motion that they should be ready in case they need to fight their way out of the palace.

However, King Vijya had already rose, more like staggered, from his throne, his eyes fixed on the increasingly nervous Naofumi as the younger man started backing away.

"Zinnia…?" He gasped, like a man who's been drowning as he walked down the platform towards the Shield Hero. "Zinnia? Is that really you?" He whispered, like he was afraid that Naofumi would vanish if he talked too loudly. Honestly, that was pretty likely, if Naofumi wasn't weighted down by the price, he would already be out the doors.

"Who's Zinnia-? What are you-!?" Naofumi began, but was cut off when the king suddenly threw his arms around both him and Redji, the kid was still out like a light. "What the hell!? Let go!"

"Has the Gods answered my prayer's?" The King whispered, as though not hearing the Shield Hero's indignation, lost in his own mind. "My Queen, my Beloved, have you returned to me!?" He shouted in joy as he held the Japanese man and his son closer.

"**WHAT!?" **

* * *

**A/N: Hoped you like it.**


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